Decoding Guy Talk: What He Says vs. What He Really Means

I of the biggest challenges we hear from our clients from their past relationship patterns is having advice issues and misinterpretations when dating.  It happens so often that we devoted an entire section of our book, Relationship DUOvers, to this very topic. Information technology's then easy for the states to hear ane thing when our man is really saying another. We've taken the top 11 occurrences to help you decode what he's Actually maxim to yous. Take notes!

1. "I'm adept!" – When a homo says he'south good, believe him. It translates to I similar things the way they are and I am not looking to add or modify anything. He could be very comfortable with who he is and the way he'southward done things over the years and he'due south not planning on making any adjustments.

2. "I promise" (Merely he doesn't come through) – If he consistently promises to practice things, and so doesn't testify upward or call, put more than stock in his deportment instead of the excuse. For instance, if you lot know the two of you made concrete plans to get out or you were to meet him somewhere and he'due south nowhere to be found not only at the coming together time but for hours and even days later, you're just not a priority.  And depending on how you've responded in the by, he probably knows in that location are no consequences if he offers a great alibi so it will happen again and again. Put an end to the beliefs by non being available side by side fourth dimension and letting him know information technology's totally not ok.

3."I have friends"  – Yes ladies, in that location'due south no need to ponder this statement any farther.  This means exactly what he said, he has "female person friends" in rotation and well-nigh oft some romantically. What we've learned is, as women we should always err on the side of "there is always someone he tin call and someone that is calling him" even if he's single. Often times nosotros may want to believe that a man we just met is truthful when he says "I'm totally single but have friends."  What that ordinarily means is he has other options and he is either waiting on the "right one" or he is loving his single life.

4. "We are only having a practiced fourth dimension" – Have the words for face value "a good time" He doesn't plan in the near future to catechumen you to his woman just withal. Yes he is enjoying spending time with you whatever it may exist whether it's going out or being intimate but he is by no means in a blitz to transfer this friendship into a human relationship.  Then if you are expecting something more or have fabricated information technology your goal to convert this into a serious relationship, don't waste your time.

v. "This is my friend or this is Angela"-  If there is no championship attached to your introduction, you lot are exactly who he is introducing y'all as.  Whether it'southward This is Angela, Regina, my people, my homegirl, or my FRIEND…..that is who you are to him at that very moment.  Delight accept note of that. He is saying information technology LOUD AND Clear who you lot are to him and where you stand up.

vi. "I'm busy"- Translation: "I'm besides decorated for you lot."  Unfortunately, he has decided not to put you on the list of important things to make time for.  When yous retrieve near it, we are all decorated in some capacity merely nosotros will make time for a telephone call, squeeze in a dinner, or a text bulletin from time to time.  At that place are 24 hours in  a mean solar day and at that place is no way he is busy all 24! He's in his motorcar driving and tin telephone call you lot, he is getting dressed for work and can phone call, and let's face it, if he'due south watching the game, there is always one-half-fourth dimension.   If Oprah Winfrey with all that she handles tin foster her relationship with her practiced friend Gail for years on terminate or President Obama tin nonetheless clasp in date night with his wife while in charge of the country, surely we tin all brand time if that'south what we put our minds to exercise.

7. "I'one thousand not hungry" – Ok ladies nosotros know you believe you can throw down in the kitchen, but if every fourth dimension you make something he says he's already eaten, let us tell yous in beloved yous might demand some new recipes.  Call someone you know who is known for their delicious food and get some new dishes under your belt, so surprise him.

viii. "It's OK" – Let'southward say you merely tried a new hairstyle or bought a new outfit and yous're not even sure yourself if information technology's complimentary, our next question to him is ordinarily, "How do you similar it?"  If he looks at it, looks abroad and says "It'southward ok."  He's in a rock and a hard place.  In that carve up 2nd, he doesn't desire to lie but knows he's not thrilled.  Instead of getting mad for lack of more details and replying to him with, "Information technology's OK??!!  What practise you hateful past that?"  Why non create a comfortable environment for him to share his existent feelings which is what yous actually want anyway.  You tin say something similar, "Hmmm, What would you alter about it if you could?"

9. "Permit's try something dissimilar" – If you hear these words, beware.  This is Homo Language for, "I'm starting to get bored."  Mayhap you've never tried Thai food or thought hiking would be fun but yous know information technology'south something he would bask.  Relationships are what y'all make them and it'southward about keeping things new, fresh, and heady with the same person.  If yous've found yourself in a tiresome routine and you hear those words, be open when you lot can to sharing new experiences and creating lasting memories together.

10. "I similar chilling at my place." – This is a subliminal message that I'm just interested in seeing you at night or behind closed doors and not comfortable being out in public for ane reason or another.   Meanwhile, when you talk to him throughout the week, he's out and having a nifty time at sports bars and concerts with his friends.  Yes something is definitely incorrect with this picture and you need to get to the lesser of information technology fast. What information technology could mean is that he is actually actively dating, but not dating you lot.

What we've learned over the years and speaking with a host of men regularly is that their words are usually very directly, loud and clear. Sometimes every bit women we cull to only see and hear what we desire to and put more thought into what he'southward saying than we should. What may assistance is if yous really write down what he says, read it back and enquire yourself, does this make sense? Did he really just say what I think he just said? Moreover, when all else fails, his actions will speak louder than his words. Be cognizant of his actions and in these cases, believe his words!

Hither's to Love!

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